The first two weeks of Natalie being in school have been a lot harder than I anticipated.
The first complication was both kids got sick over these two weeks. First William got sick with HFM and we were anxious of Natalie getting it. Then Natalie got it and was sick for five days missing two days of school. So she had three days of school, five days off, and then two days of school.
She was so excited at the open house and then the first day. Her second day of school was harder. Then the last two days, she has been a little upset before school without being able to completely example to me what was going on. Her teacher called today and told me she was making progress. Turns out, Natalie has been far more anxious at school than we knew. She was crying a lot more than we knew, asking to see Baby Kitty, and such.
I feel I've learned a harsh reality. Staying home with Natalie there haven't been really all that many times she has been away from me. I've always loved that I knew everything about her day. But sending her to school, I've been missing so much. I've had no idea at all how it really has been for her. And I feel terrible for not knowing, but at the same time, feel like there wasn't really any way for me to know unless I grilled her teacher every day! It makes me so glad that we did not have to put her in daycare so that I could work. It would have been like this every day since she was only a couple months old!
I've also learned how important our structure at home as really been for Natalie. She has liked it and how predictable it is. I think the last few weeks have partly been hard because she gets home and there is no nap time, and in the mornings we aren't going out to our regular activities or seeing our friends. Suddenly, everything was different! No wonder she was anxious! I'm glad they are well again and we can start getting back into the swing of things.
But my last thought is that I worry I have made her anxious. There has been too much yelling in our house, and definitely we made her anxious over potty training because it was so rough when her JRA hit and we didn't know what was going on. And her quick to cry behavior we sometimes see at home (say when her night gown get stuck over her head) is showing up at school because she is uncomfortable. My anxious side (as well as possibly some of Mike's) has rubbed off on her. When I rush her to things, I'm just contributing to that anxiety.
There is also just the possibility of her being tired. Poor thing asked to take a nap today! School is four hours away from home, which is longer than a regular outing we would have.
I feel bad that I thought she had made this huge transition so easily and maybe haven't been supporting her as much as I could be.