Ways to Make Your Labor More Pleasant

You have a lot to get through before you can hold your little bundle!

I've been meaning to write this post for almost a year.  As I write, my sister is in labor with her first child, so labor is front and center on my mind.  

Be informed.
First of all, you need to be informed about how labor and delivery work.  Here is a link to the stages of labor from Baby Center.  Being informed will help you be mentally prepared for what is ahead.  It can help you know how to react to what you are experiencing. 

You also need to be informed about your hospital / birthing center / doctors policies about labor and delivery.  For example, when do they want you to come to the hospital?  Will you have an area to walk?  Will you be able to eat or drink?

In the same vein, you should be knowledgeable about the common interventions they used to help labor progress.  Examples include striping membranes, breaking water, and pitocin IV.   There are a lot of people who believe that having one intervention starts a chain of interventions ultimately leading to C-section.  While I think that might be a bit extreme, having my water broken and a pitocin IV with my daughter probably did effect my labor since I then got my epidural and remained in bed the rest of the day. 

Lastly, you should know about any medicines you want to take during labor to manage pain. 

Write a realistic birth plan.
It is hard to write a birth plan for your first baby since you've never experienced labor and delivery before.  But, taking time to write one can help your labor be more, dare I say, enjoyable.  Labor is one time when you can be extremely selfish and self-centered.  In your plan, write out the ways your support person(s) and medical professionals can help you the best.  For example, do you want to not be asked about pain medicine?  Do you want help knowing when to push?  Do you want interventions delayed?  Thinking through these options and then sharing them will help take some of the anxeity out of labor by having everyone supporting you in the way you want.  Having thought about these items will lessen the stress of the labor and you'll be able to just focus on the moment and the joy headed your way. 

Communicate with your support person.
With my labor for my daughter, I didn't communicate well with my husband.  In fact, I didn't ask much of him at all.  Looking back, I feel we were pretty disconnected until the pushing started, (which was about 1/15 of the labor).  But, with my son, I knew communicated more clearly with him.  Yes, I did want him more involved as labor began at home.  Yes, I did want him to hurry up so we could go to the hospital now.  Yes, I did want him to take me on laps around the ward.  Yes, I did want him to pay more attention to me even after I had the pain medicine.  These changes made me feel like we were in it together much more than with our first child's birth.  

Have a mantra or image to focus on during hard moments.
With my daughter, I talked to her pushing the pushing encouraging her to come out.  My husband thought this was kind of silly, but the doctor did the same thing during the birth of our son!  Focusing on my daughter helped.  For my son, I used a mantra one of the nurses mentioned early in the labor.  She said to breath your baby down.  I would focus on taking deep breaths during the contractions and visualize my son moving lower and lower through the birth canal.  There are limitless possibilities of what you can focus on, but doing so can really prevent you from becoming lost in the pain. 

Move, or at least stand.
During my labor for my daughter, I was laying or sitting almost the whole time.  It started at home in bed, then on my living room floor as I timed contractions, then while being monitored waiting to be admitted, then sitting while be asked questions, then I had my water broken, then an IV, then an epidural.  I strongly believe that this lack of movement lengthened my labor. 

I remember my wonderful birth class instructor saying to walk.  But when I was actually in labor, it was easy to be passive and wind up just laying or sitting on a bed and waiting.  Here is a little bit on information from Baby Center on labor positions, and it states that some research finds laying down is the least effective labor position.  Looking back, it wasn't surprising that my labor took so long when I spent so much of my time in an ineffective position.

So, with my son, I was determined to help my labor along.  Once we were at the hospital being monitored and then again once we were admitted, I spent stretches of time walking around the ward with my husband, including with the IV pole.  There were other times when I just stayed standing swaying.  I waited until I got the epidural before I actually laid down.  I really believe that this movement helped my labor progress more smoothly and naturally. 

Push correctly.
First, you have to know when to push.  With my daughter, I did not.  My epidural was turned down and I went from no pain to quite a bit and couldn't really feel clear contractions.  I went into my second labor planning to ask for help with knowing when to push (I mean, they have a machine that reads the contractions, why not use it?).  But, a happy accident left a band of pain around my left hip after the epidural.  This allowed me know when to push making my pushes more constructive.

But you also need to know how to push.  I remember the doctor on call when my daughter was born saying that all first time mothers push so daintily when they are first asked to push.   And in comparison, its true.  I wasn't even close to pushing hard enough.  You want to push as hard as you possibly can.  Like, I'm-going-to-pass-out-and-break-blood-vessels-in-my-eyes hard.  And as far as how to push: Push like you are pooping.  No one told me that, so I had a lot of difficulty at first.  I had to be directed on where to direct my push.  I had expected it to involve a lot more of my abdominal muscles. 

Follow your instincts when possible. 
Labor is a long ordeal for most women.  Unless you are in an emergency situation, you are in charge.  Until you get down to those last few pushes as you crown, you have a long haul of time where you can choose to spend the time as you wish.  If you'd like the nurse to come back in fifteen minutes to check you, you can ask that.  If you need to skip a contraction to rest from pushing, that is probably okay.  If you don't want to hold your breath the way they direct you to, you can.  Trust your instincts and give what feels right to you a try when possible.

Writing a Birth Plan

A birth plan is one of those mysterious things you hear a lot about during your first pregnancy.  My birthing class gave us a form to fill out, but I never gave my birth plan for Natalie to my doctor and nurses because I didn't feel strongly about anything on it.  That is the key to a good birth plan: You have to know what about the birth is most important to you and communicate your wishes about those items clearly and succinctly. 

First of all, don't just copy something you see on line, in a book, or that a friend used.  Instead, really think about what is most important to you during the birth.  Be firm in your phrasing, but remember that labor is unpredictable and you might have to be flexible in the moment. Writing a plan is much easier the second time around since you know what you did and did not like about labor the first time. 

Things to include in your birth plan:

• anything about pain medication, including if you don't think you'll want any
• anything special you want to happen during the birth
• any item you'd like available to help with your labor, such as a birthing bar or yoga ball
• any fears or concerns you have about the labor at all - I saw a great example of a birth plan that had a fear about her husband's diabetes during the labor and informing the nurses to keep an eye on him in case he forgot to take care of himself in all the excitment. 
• special instructions for just after the birth
• special instructions for baby's care while you are at the hospital

For me the second time around, I knew my biggest fear was that I would be alone because Mike would be at home taking care of Natalie.  I was scared to go through it alone and also worried about how much it would depress me to not share the experience with Mike.  So, it was important to me to cover that in my plan.  Other than that, I used what I learned from my first labor.  I made a list of what I liked and what I didn't like, and then I turned that list into my plan. 

If you are writing a plan for your first birth, I would write two lists.  One list contain items about the labor you feel very strongly about.  The second list should be all your worries, fears, or concerns about the labor.  I would then work with that over the last few weeks or months of the pregnancy to make a plan. 

A few small tips:

• keep your plan to one page in a reasonable sized font
• print several copies so that there is always one available for any changes staffing
• print copies early and put them in your suitcase in case you head to the hospital expectantly

Here is my plan for William's birth as an example:

Labor Concerns and Preferences:

• I am concerned about my husband not being present for the labor and birth if labor moves very quickly or there are problems with our  child care plans for my daughter. 
• I’d like to delay pitocin and having my water broken so that I can move and walk during the early part of the labor. 
• I hurt my tailbone pretty badly during my daughter’s labor.  I’m open to suggestions for pushing positions that might put less pressure on my tail bone. 
• If possible, I’d like to see and feel the baby crowning. 
• I’d like coaching on when and how long to push, at least at the start of pushing, because I had difficulty knowing last time.  
• Holding my breath several times in a row while pushing became difficult for me last time due to my asthma. 
• I’d like to hold William as soon as possible, preferably skin-to-skin contact on my chest.  I’d like to allow him to move to the breast to nurse at this time if possible. 

Pain Medication:

• I plan to get an epidural during labor, and I would like help determining when to get the epidural, especially since I know this labor could move faster this time. 
• When the time comes, if the anesthesiologist is delayed, I’d like to use Nubain again to help me wait until the epidural can be administered. 

After the Birth:

• I’d like to hold William as soon as possible, preferably skin-to-skin contact on my chest.  I’d like to allow him to move to the breast to nurse at this time if possible. 
• We plan to exclusively breast feed.  Please no bottles or pacifiers without discussing it with us first. 
• We would like to room in as much as possible. 
• We plan to have William circumcised. 
• We are concerned about jaundice, as it delayed our daughter’s discharge several days. 

Other:

• In case I am alone for the birth, I would greatly appreciate help taking a couple pictures of the baby right away.  Also, in case I’m unable to get up yet and still alone, we’d like a picture of him being weighed for the first time. 

Disenchantment

We've only known we are pregnant for 18 days, yet still I've made four trips to the doctor's office / hospital, had blood drawn three times, had one ultrasound, one shot to my ass (okay, hip) and talked with at least three different nurses. The only person I haven't talked to is my own doctor. (Actually, that's a lie. I saw her for a minute today as I left the office and she was in between patients, but that doesn't really count).

At first, I was excited about this pregnancy. But right now, I'm sad to say that it just feels like chore after chore to go through. All these appointments and tests. I've never had blood taken three times in three weeks! I feel like a pin cushion and have two small bruises on my right arm and one massive nasty looking bruise on my left.

Every time I talk to someone, they don't really seem to have an answer for me. Be it two weeks ago when I was looking for an easy to swallow prenatal vitamin or now when I wanted to know if my blood was tested for Rh antibodies. We've had to figure out the answers for ourselves.

As far as that second concern, I went into my in-take appointment with that question being my primary question to ask. The nurse couldn't tell me if my blood was tested for them or not. She looked up the blood work in the computer, but all she could tell me was that the doctor on call had ordered blood typing. I told her that didn't make sense to me since that info was right in my file, so maybe the antibodies had been tested too? She had no clue what I was talking about. I felt she didn't take my concern that seriously either. But, when I read the packet she gave me to bring home, about three lines down it said that during the initial blood work those would be tested. Why didn't this nurse know that if its right there in what she handed me? Maybe I'm being hard on her, but if it was important enough to be on the handout and for it to be one of the in-take blood work tests, shouldn't this lady know about it?

I've also been annoyed that for three appointments I've basically been told when to show up. When the appointment I went to today was made, the woman on the phone was pressuring me to confirm if a time was okay as Natalie is wandering around dropping my mug on the hard floor and yelling. I'm scrambling to find a calander and she's going "So, is 130 on the 11th alright?" like three times. So, I wind up with a 130 appointment forcing me to wake Natalie up from her nap. The ultrasound appointment from Friday had to be at 2 because it was the only opening, again making me wake Natalie up from a deep sleep. Yesterday, I got a call saying that my ultrasound appointment had been made for Monday at 3. This time the time was fine, but we were surprised that it was so soon when the tech had said two weeks.

I just feel like there is no joy in this pregnancy. Instead, its all these tests and annoyances dealing with five different people each time we go in and them all giving information that is somehow conflicting. Go to the lab first, don't go to the lab first. Have a full bladder, don't have a full bladder. Get the new blood work done soon because you'll see the doctor in a couple weeks, then getting an appointment that's a month away! Its also distracting and at times stressful carting Natalie around to all of this. Instead wondering about the new baby, I'm busy keeping her from having a meltdown. She was awesome today. Spent an hour and a half straight in the stroller with very little fussing, but whenever someone asked me something I was distracted by her. It doesn't help that I feel I'm more irritable with this pregnancy than the last, or that my symptoms are causing me to feel nauseous sometimes, but making me lose all my free time to sleeping and wake me up in the night to pee! At least when I'm further along and I have discomfort I'll have the joy of feeling the baby move.

Right now, I'm glad the new ultrasound date is less than a week away. While I'm worried that something may go wrong, and I'm worried that we'll have to go again because nothing is wrong perse (more hassle, more time off for Mike, more money wasted), I will be so happy to finally just see something that looks remotely like a baby and to see or hear a heartbeat. We were spoiled last time to get only one ultrasound and at 10 weeks. Natalie looked like a baby for the most part and we didn't have all this extra hoop jumping to go through.

Unwanted Excitement

Yesterday we had a little unwanted excitement.

About a week ago, I had a tiny bit of spotting. Just a little very light brown on my pantyliner. I didn't call the doctor because I know that happened at least once when I was pregnant with Natalie. Then, Thursday night around Natalie's bath time, I wiped several times and had dime sized spots of very dark brown. (I continued to have some more mixed it with stringy discharge for the couple days, too). So, early Friday morning, I called the doctor's office because I didn't feel quite comfortable. They ask me if I have cramps (I said just small ones that could be from gas or constipation, which are both also pregnancy symptoms). The woman on the phone says the nurse will call me back. When the nurse calls me back, I go over it all again with a different woman. She says that brown spotting is normal, but that she is going to tell the doctor on call about it and call me back. I'm feeling reassured then, mostly because I wasn't that concerned in the first place.

A little later, the woman calls back and says the doctor wants me to get my blood work done that day and that they've scheduled my ultrasound for 2 o'clock, and that's the only time they have. She insists that I get the blood work done first. She doesn't say why the doctor said for me to have these things done today, but I figure it must be because something could be wrong. I call Mike and leave a message because he's in a meeting. I call him back an hour later and get him and tell him the story. I'd like him to come home so I'm not alone in case there is a problem, but I'm not sure if he can come home because he was just on vacation all last week.

Natalie and I continue about our morning as normally as we can. We got to story time at 1030, and are pretty much on time for once. Natalie has a good time and then runs around children's room a bit. Pretty normal library trip excepting that the parking meter almost ate my quarter.

I know that I'm going to have to get Natalie up from her nap by 130 to get to the hospital to registrar and get blood work done to make the 2 o'clock appointment. I hoped Natalie would fall asleep in the car. But she doesn't. So, she plays for a bit and I give her lunch. I hoped she'd fall asleep in her chair for once. But she doesn't. So, I put her down for nap right after lunch anyway. It takes her a bit to fall asleep, but she does.

While Natalie is napping, Mike calls back to say he is coming home and he'll meet us there. I start drinking the ton of water you are supposed to drink (that the woman on the phone reminded me to drink, too). I wake Natalie up at 130 on the dot. She wakes up pleasantly. By the time we are in the car, its 137. I hit almost every light. We get to the parking lot at 142. I park in the first space I can find, get Natalie in the stroller, and practicality run across the freezing parking lot with her to get into the building. By the time we zig zag through the building and get taken at registration, its 152. The woman at registration says she'll call ultrasound and tell them I'm in the lab, because I tell her that the woman on the phone said I should go there first.

Natalie and I get to the lab and are next to go, but have to wait a couple minutes, during which Natalie chats with a little old lady and I talk to Mike on my phone with a horrible connection. I'm taken in to get my blood drawn. Natalie starts to look concerned when the nurse puts on gloves, but cheers up when she realizes nothing is being done to her. She then gets a little upset when she realizes that Mommy is the one something is being done too, but she doesn't freak out. The first vein the nurse tries is too narrow and she can't get enough blood out, so she has to start over. In the meantime, I mention that Mike's in the waiting room and he comes in to get Natalie. The nurse tries a different vein in my other arm, but it is far more sensitive. Today, I have a large bruise on one side and a small bruise on the other and the second arm hurt for the rest of that day.

After the blood work is done, we rush over to the ultrasound. When we get there, we're told that we aren't supposed to go there, but to my doctor's usual office. So, we head over that way. When we get there, the woman who is preforming the ultrasound almost immediately starts giving me a hard time about being late. (We are 15 minutes late). I tell her that I didn't pick this time and that I was told (more than once) to go to the lab first. She says never listen to that (like I"m supposed to know that there isn't a reason they sent me there first). Then she says that they are going to do an internal ultrasound because I'm so early, so I have to go pee. So, I drank all that water and have needed to pee for a half an hour for nothing. The woman comes back and says she spoke to the woman I talked to who told me to go to the lab first and that woman assumed I would be coming in earlier. This bothers Mike and I because I wasn't given a choice in the time of the appointment and was just told what to do. She could have asked me if I could make it there earlier to go to the lab first and it would have saved several people a lot of annoyance.

Finally, we get into the room for the ultrasound and get started. An internal ultrasound isn't as bad as it sounds and was only mildly uncomfortable. Mike tries to keep Natalie happy, but she has had it with the stroller and we can't let her walk in the cramped room. So he tries to hold her, but she wants to be with me. We let her sit with me a bit during the exam. During the exam, the woman preforming doesn't say anything. When she is done, she says that its too early to see anything. She can see a yolk sac (which I just learned from Wikipedia is: "It is a critical landmark, identifying a true gestation sac." Why she doesn't tell us this, I don't know.) and that its measuring 5 weeks 6 days (which scares me at first because in my worry I forget that a week has only 7 days, not 10). She says she can't see the fetal pole or the heartbeat, probably just because it is just too early. She says basically that what she sees now is normal for where we are in the pregnancy, but doesn't yet indicate that they're won't be problems later. She says that we will get another ultrasound in two weeks, and probably everything will be fine then. She leaves.

Mike and I are frustrated. The doctor rushed is in there and put us through all this stress just for it to be too early. Mike is wishing he hadn't come home and I'm wishing I hadn't bothered calling the doctor in the first place. I'm feeling bummed out because I'm going to worry for the next two weeks that something is wrong. When we get home, Natalie is being fussy which isn't gelling well with me being down. Mike goes into the office to log on to work to see if he can get anything more done for the day. After a little bit, he comes out the living room where Natalie's calmed down and we talk about things. We realize that having the ultrasound has proved that nothing seriously wrong has occurred. Here is where I wish the nurse has actually said that seeing the yolk sac (and telling us what it was) was a great sign at this point. I'm still feeling a little upset because What to Expect When You're Expecting made it sound like at 6 weeks you should hear a heart beat and that all this other crazy awesome stuff is going on, so why couldn't they see it? Why are we behind? Even though I have unanswered questions, I feel much better after we talk it through. I figure that they rushed the blood work results (the woman taking my blood told me that), so that must mean that they want to get me the results before the end of the day because its a Friday. So, I figure I'll ask some questions when we get a call with the results.

At 415, the doctor's office calls. The nurse on the phone tells me that I was spotting because I am a negative blood type. I am relieved. She says that I need to get a shot of RhoGAM. I immediately recognize the name of this from getting it twice with Natalie, once later in the pregnancy, and once after the birth. She tells me that I can come in right now to get the shot or wait until Monday. I figure why wait and head over there. Of course, this time, I hit no red lights. This nurse helps explain things much better. I tell her that I'm a little uneasy because I thought from what I read they'd be able to see more. She explains that they almost never do ultrasounds this early because it is so likely to not be able to see the fetal pole and heartbeat. She gives me an example of a woman from that day who four days made the difference of seeing it and not. She also confirms that the tests were rushed to make sure there wasn't a serious problem.

I feel better. But, Mike and I are still frustrated. I went to this same office and hospital for Natalie's whole pregnancy and birth. It should be in my file that I'm Rh negative. There shouldn't have been need for a blood test to prove it. Someone should have said that it was a distinct possibility that the spotting was because of the Rh factor and I could have gotten the shot while we were there the first time saving everyone trouble yet again. However, it is possible that the doctor saw the Rh negative and spotting and it being my second pregnancy, and ordered the blood work that day to test for the antigens (discussed more below), but if so, why didn't anyone explain that to us?

Also, I am now feeling a little uneasy about the Rh. The nurse talked about it like it wasn't anything to be worried about. But, when I looked it up on line to refresh my memory, it was a bit scary. With a first pregnancy, there isn't much to worry about. But, after you've already had a child with Rh positive blood, there is a chance you could have mixed blood and created antigens. Natalie must have positive blood, or they wouldn't have proceeded with the shot of RhoGAM after her birth. If the RhoGAM did its job, then there isn't anything to worry about. But, if it didn't, my body could be fighting against our little embryo. What I read on line said that they will test my blood for the antigens. What I'm hoping is that they did that on Friday, saw none, and gave me RhoGAM. Because RhoGAM, from what I understand, is prevention, not treatment. I also read that if I had the antigens, it could cause jaundice, which explains why the pediatrician at the hospital when Natalie was born said that the Rh negative was one of the reasons he wanted us to stay. This adds to my concern that I do have these antigens.

So, I was feeling better. I am feeling better about the fact that the pregnancy is progressing as it should. But I am left with a big concern about if we have a pontentially big problem on the horizon. Its scary because this is the same reason Mike was born two months early. Luckily, I'm going for my intake appointment on Tuesday and I'm sure this is a question I can ask then, if not on Monday when my normal doctor's nurse is supposed to call me to set up our second ultrasound. (Yeah, MY doctor who I love was not in on Friday and neither was her nurse, so we were working with all people we'd never met before).

As the day has worn on, I've seen less and less of the dark brown mixed in my discharge. I still feel like my symptoms are confusing. I feel like I felt different when pregnant with Natalie. Last night, I turned away from doing a crossword puzzel with Mike at 730, I went right to sleep. Mike always teases me for falling asleep early, especially when we watch TV or movies, but today he said that I really have been falling asleep earlier, like I did with Natalie. My nausea feels like its been less, but maybe that is because I'm home and can handle it more. Or maybe its because it was new and I noticed it more. But, I feel like I have had more gas and less regularity in my bowel movements (which was not a problem until the vary end with Natalie). So, maybe those are some of my symptoms this time around. When we see a heartbeat, I will be relieved and happy beyond words. I'm finding it funny that this time around, I'm having more trouble believing I'm pregnant than the first time. But the two pregnancy test, blood test, and now this ultrasound aren't really helping me feel sure either!

feels like lying

I'm definitely at the point in my pregnancy that whenever I tell someone I'm pregnant, I feel like I'm lying. I don't have many symptoms most of the time. I feel a little nauseous from time to time. Sometimes I feel ridiculously tired. I maybe need to pee a little more often, but who was keeping track before? But most of the time, I feel perfectly normal.

Today I told two people I was pregnant. The first was my neighbor who I see at play group. I asked her how much time was between her two children (she has an infant and a 2 year old, but I wasn't sure how close to three her daughter was). Turns out its 23 months. She continued on to say that she got pregnant just about when her daughter was Natalie's age. Well, at that I really couldn't keep my mouth shut. I feel a lot of comfort knowing someone who has kids the same age apart as ours will be. Its also comforting knowing that her daughter was how old Natalie will be when the new baby arrives. I met them about two months ago, and her daughter was doing all the things I hoped Natalie would do to help keep us on track. Most importantly, walking on her own from place to place. Well, come to think of it, I'm kind of assuming this. I've never seen them walking outside. Maybe she does carry her outside, but I don't think so since she carries the car seat separately, and not in the stroller like I always did. Lots of people seem to do this. Either I'm a weakling (which is a distinct possibility) or we have an extra heavy infant car seat. Anyway, another reason that I think she probably doesn't carry her daughter is that we've given holding Natalie's hand in parking lots a try three times in the last few days. She did awesome for Mike in the Friendly's parking lot. Then she did awesome for me in the Hannaford parking lot, never struggling, but stopping a few times. Today she was too distracted by a car parking to walk, so I gave up and carried her since it was cold out and I didn't want to chance her bolting towards the car.

The second person I told today was a stranger - the receptionist at the dentist office when I called to make my appointment for my fillings. Its recommend that you get any fillings half way through your pregnancy, so I made the appointment. I hate having fillings, but I don't want them to get any worse either. There is still plenty of time to back out if the doctor says she doesn't recommend it, but I'm fairly certain she mentioned it was okay during my last pregnancy.

In other news, we've made a couple big decisions both related to the new baby. First of all, I was all set to bombard my parents with reasons why they have to come watch Natalie, when my mother says, "Your father and I talked about it and we can come while you are in the hospital." While it would be ideal for them to come a day or two early and to stay an extra day or two, I really don't think that will happen. My mother really seems to think that them being here would be a huge inconvenience, but as long as she was acting like her usual self and not a guest, I don't think it would be. It would be great for them to be here a little early to see how Natalie does things at home and for her to stay a night or two more to help us cook, clean, and watch Natalie, but they seem dead against it. I also have high hopes that when they do come, that they will actually come to the hospital to say hello to me and the baby even though they said they wouldn't, and that they might actually take Natalie out, especially to story time or play group, or even just the park. At this point in the pregnancy, I still have the most worry about how Natalie will deal with the changes a new baby brings (see more below). In particular, I worry about me being away from her for at least three days, if not longer. She's used to Mike coming and going with work, and also me putting her to bed without him for various other reasons, but she isn't used to me not being around or both of us not being there. Then, my second big concern is how she will react to my divided attention.

The other big decision was that we are going to get Natalie a toddler bed over the summer, if not needed earlier. We looked at a Disney Princesses toddler bed at Walmart, and it was very cheap. Even if you get the one with the table, chairs, and toy box its only about $120. The on line reviews were all good. The only complaint was that it can be hard to assemble. The limits on the bed were no younger than 15 months and no heavier than 50 lbs. Then I looked on line to when most people switch over, and its between 18 months and two years a lot of the time because the child starts to climb out. I am still worried that Natalie will have trouble adjusting to a bed. It means less room to move around, especially to stay correctly orientated within the rails. She also dislikes covers. And of course, it also means that she can get down (or fall down if she tries to walk on it) instead of sleeping. So, I have some concerns, but I think it will work out. Doing this will allow us to dismantle her crib (which I've heard is recommended so they older child doesn't feel displaces by the new baby, but is also 100% necessary for us to get the crib out of her bedroom door!) for a couple months before reassembling it in the new baby's room, thus saving us a lot of money on buying a new crib, which we'd only need for a few months. It also saves us the discomfort of refusing the 30 year old crib my family used that my mother offered. With all the crib recalls and safety changes just in recent years, we didn't feel comfortable using it.

The only other pregnancy news is that I have my in take appointment in about a week. Its very frustrating. I know that I will be dragging Natalie along to an appointment where all they do is ask me the questions that they already asked two years ago and then make me go give blood, which requires two waiting rooms since we have to registrar before going to the lab. However, that is the day they will request the ultrasound, which is both exciting and scary because it will confirm whether we are having a healthy pregnancy this far or not. It is the ultimate confirmation that everything is real, but also an opportunity for the worst possible news.

When I look ahead, it is so hard to picture how our life will be. I think about all the new things Natalie will be doing (sleeping in a real bed, walking next to me on the street, half of her talking being understood!), and then having a new child. Will that child be anything like Natalie? Look like her? Sound like her? Have similar likes and dislikes? A similar disposition? Its not just concerns about whether this baby will be more difficult to keep happy than Natalie, but will they be a like at all, and if so how? We can't imagine how a second baby would look. Its hard for me to picture getting two children ready to go out. Getting two children in and out of the car. Breastfeeding again. The early frustrations. Having to be ready to breastfeed in public more if we are going to keep Natalie's activities. Add to all of that, I'll be inheriting Mike's car! I'll actually have power locks on all the doors. No more using the key to open the passenger's side door, then reaching back to unlock the back to put in the car seat! Such a small thing, but such a huge difference it will make, especially with two kids to get in the car. Not to mention, Mike's car's heat (and AC) and defrost are far superior to mine.

A light pink Christmas blessing

So, since I don't know who actually reads my blog, I'm going to keep all my pregnancy related writing as drafts until we make the big announcement to everyone we know.

My last period was on Thanksgiving, which was also my birthday. That meant that a 30 day cycle, like my last one, would end on Christmas day. So, first thing Christmas morning, I took a test. This was not easy. It drove me a bit crazy for a couple days waiting until Christmas morning. And then, I couldn't sleep most of that night, partly from needing to pee, but not being able to since I had to store up my pee for a morning test. (I couldn't test in the middle of the night because I left the test in our bag next to where Natalie was sleeping).

I took the test, and then came back into the room where Mike was getting Natalie changed to go upstairs. He went into the bathroom to pee and take out his mouth guard and asked if there should be two lines. Me, not thinking clearly, said yes, but it doesn't mean anything. I was thinking of the + or - EPT tests. He asked if I was sure, and then I realized I wasn't. I came to look, and we had a very faint pink line on our test. I ran upstairs with it to show my mother and get another opinion. It was awesome Christmas news that we shared with our immediate family throughout the day, but since the line was so faint, we didn't feel too sure about it.

As the next two days wore on, I felt a lot like I did when we found out we were pregnant with Natalie. I felt like my period was coming any second (and still feel that way). I have a slight crampy feeling I often get a couple days before my period, but then I will have a dampness that sends me running to the bathroom to check for blood. This was similar to with Natalie, and I've read that its normal and common to feel this way. I've also felt more tired. Today, I have only felt nauseous for a few minutes, but I felt it more the few days before that.

Overall, its hard to believe I am really pregnant. After the first test, we couldn't quite believe it until we took a second test. So, Sunday we bought another test and I took it yesterday morning. This time, the pink line was much darker, but not as dark as the control line. At first this bothered me still, until I looked at the package and compared our test to the picture, and it was a perfect match. Then I was very happy for a while.

However, the news is still hard to believe. As if coming and going symptoms and the constant feeling like I'm going to start my period weren't enough to cause doubt, when I called the doctor, they now have a new protocol that requires you to give blood before you can schedule your appointments. So, I went over today to give blood. The test is supposed to test your hormone levels to see how far along you are. I'm sure this is useful for people who aren't sure how far along they are, but for us, we are pretty sure. Waiting until tomorrow for these results just adds another level of doubt. Now I feel like its not true until I hear it confirmed from the blood test.

When I was pregnant with Natalie, I was worried that something could go wrong, as I'm sure every woman is when she is pregnant. But now that I've known someone who has had a blighted ovum and learned how common it is, I'm worried it could happen to us, too. I feel like we were so lucky with everything with Natalie the first time, that maybe we won't be so lucky this time. The about to start my period feeling just makes me worry that the call will tell us that I'm not really pregnant. I really only am believing I'm pregnant now in a logical, reassuring kind of way.

We've started talking about the things that need to be done in the next nine months to prepare for another baby. We've started the work a little bit, such as moving a desk into the living room and the deacon's bench into the kitchen. These are small changes that are helping us to clear out the downstairs storage room that will become the office, so that the office can be the new baby's room. Even though they are small changes, they are purposely done with the pregnancy in mind. It seems a little early to be doing these things having just gotten the news, but at the same time, we have a fair amount of work to do and only so much time to do it. Besides, Mike is on vacation, so why not take advantage.

The only other pregnancy related news at the moment is that Chris invited us down to FL to visit in the summer after they are settled. Mike told him we probably wouldn't go because we can't picture Natalie on a plane right now, even if it was shorter than the flight to TX. On top of that, I just can't picture myself somewhere between six and eight months pregnant flying on a plane and going on a vacation with an almost two year old. That's a lot of work and stress to travel and to be away from home in general, let alone that far along pregnant and with a small child. I was a little surprised that Chris asked. Also, I know that they are moving to get a better advantage on their situation, and that they have more children, but still, I feel as if it is their turn to travel to see us. Asking us to come to see them again, barely a year later, seems unfair. I understand that they want to see us and want us to see their new home, and that Orlando can potentially be a fun place to visit (for non-very pregnant woman and children who are older than 2), but its just not realistic. Chris is worried that we won't travel again once we have a second child. I'm not sure. I think I'd probably be more willing to travel with Natalie closer to three and an almost one year old, than I would with Natalie at this age and being so far along in a pregnancy. After that window, though, I agree we wouldn't want to travel again until baby number two had a little self control and could be kept happily seated for the majority of the ride. Of course, all this thinking it through is not important, since Mike doesn't anticipate us going, but I couldn't help thinking it through since the invite surprised me so much.