feels like lying

I'm definitely at the point in my pregnancy that whenever I tell someone I'm pregnant, I feel like I'm lying. I don't have many symptoms most of the time. I feel a little nauseous from time to time. Sometimes I feel ridiculously tired. I maybe need to pee a little more often, but who was keeping track before? But most of the time, I feel perfectly normal.

Today I told two people I was pregnant. The first was my neighbor who I see at play group. I asked her how much time was between her two children (she has an infant and a 2 year old, but I wasn't sure how close to three her daughter was). Turns out its 23 months. She continued on to say that she got pregnant just about when her daughter was Natalie's age. Well, at that I really couldn't keep my mouth shut. I feel a lot of comfort knowing someone who has kids the same age apart as ours will be. Its also comforting knowing that her daughter was how old Natalie will be when the new baby arrives. I met them about two months ago, and her daughter was doing all the things I hoped Natalie would do to help keep us on track. Most importantly, walking on her own from place to place. Well, come to think of it, I'm kind of assuming this. I've never seen them walking outside. Maybe she does carry her outside, but I don't think so since she carries the car seat separately, and not in the stroller like I always did. Lots of people seem to do this. Either I'm a weakling (which is a distinct possibility) or we have an extra heavy infant car seat. Anyway, another reason that I think she probably doesn't carry her daughter is that we've given holding Natalie's hand in parking lots a try three times in the last few days. She did awesome for Mike in the Friendly's parking lot. Then she did awesome for me in the Hannaford parking lot, never struggling, but stopping a few times. Today she was too distracted by a car parking to walk, so I gave up and carried her since it was cold out and I didn't want to chance her bolting towards the car.

The second person I told today was a stranger - the receptionist at the dentist office when I called to make my appointment for my fillings. Its recommend that you get any fillings half way through your pregnancy, so I made the appointment. I hate having fillings, but I don't want them to get any worse either. There is still plenty of time to back out if the doctor says she doesn't recommend it, but I'm fairly certain she mentioned it was okay during my last pregnancy.

In other news, we've made a couple big decisions both related to the new baby. First of all, I was all set to bombard my parents with reasons why they have to come watch Natalie, when my mother says, "Your father and I talked about it and we can come while you are in the hospital." While it would be ideal for them to come a day or two early and to stay an extra day or two, I really don't think that will happen. My mother really seems to think that them being here would be a huge inconvenience, but as long as she was acting like her usual self and not a guest, I don't think it would be. It would be great for them to be here a little early to see how Natalie does things at home and for her to stay a night or two more to help us cook, clean, and watch Natalie, but they seem dead against it. I also have high hopes that when they do come, that they will actually come to the hospital to say hello to me and the baby even though they said they wouldn't, and that they might actually take Natalie out, especially to story time or play group, or even just the park. At this point in the pregnancy, I still have the most worry about how Natalie will deal with the changes a new baby brings (see more below). In particular, I worry about me being away from her for at least three days, if not longer. She's used to Mike coming and going with work, and also me putting her to bed without him for various other reasons, but she isn't used to me not being around or both of us not being there. Then, my second big concern is how she will react to my divided attention.

The other big decision was that we are going to get Natalie a toddler bed over the summer, if not needed earlier. We looked at a Disney Princesses toddler bed at Walmart, and it was very cheap. Even if you get the one with the table, chairs, and toy box its only about $120. The on line reviews were all good. The only complaint was that it can be hard to assemble. The limits on the bed were no younger than 15 months and no heavier than 50 lbs. Then I looked on line to when most people switch over, and its between 18 months and two years a lot of the time because the child starts to climb out. I am still worried that Natalie will have trouble adjusting to a bed. It means less room to move around, especially to stay correctly orientated within the rails. She also dislikes covers. And of course, it also means that she can get down (or fall down if she tries to walk on it) instead of sleeping. So, I have some concerns, but I think it will work out. Doing this will allow us to dismantle her crib (which I've heard is recommended so they older child doesn't feel displaces by the new baby, but is also 100% necessary for us to get the crib out of her bedroom door!) for a couple months before reassembling it in the new baby's room, thus saving us a lot of money on buying a new crib, which we'd only need for a few months. It also saves us the discomfort of refusing the 30 year old crib my family used that my mother offered. With all the crib recalls and safety changes just in recent years, we didn't feel comfortable using it.

The only other pregnancy news is that I have my in take appointment in about a week. Its very frustrating. I know that I will be dragging Natalie along to an appointment where all they do is ask me the questions that they already asked two years ago and then make me go give blood, which requires two waiting rooms since we have to registrar before going to the lab. However, that is the day they will request the ultrasound, which is both exciting and scary because it will confirm whether we are having a healthy pregnancy this far or not. It is the ultimate confirmation that everything is real, but also an opportunity for the worst possible news.

When I look ahead, it is so hard to picture how our life will be. I think about all the new things Natalie will be doing (sleeping in a real bed, walking next to me on the street, half of her talking being understood!), and then having a new child. Will that child be anything like Natalie? Look like her? Sound like her? Have similar likes and dislikes? A similar disposition? Its not just concerns about whether this baby will be more difficult to keep happy than Natalie, but will they be a like at all, and if so how? We can't imagine how a second baby would look. Its hard for me to picture getting two children ready to go out. Getting two children in and out of the car. Breastfeeding again. The early frustrations. Having to be ready to breastfeed in public more if we are going to keep Natalie's activities. Add to all of that, I'll be inheriting Mike's car! I'll actually have power locks on all the doors. No more using the key to open the passenger's side door, then reaching back to unlock the back to put in the car seat! Such a small thing, but such a huge difference it will make, especially with two kids to get in the car. Not to mention, Mike's car's heat (and AC) and defrost are far superior to mine.