Maybe Carrie isn't the movie ...

Maybe Carrie isn't the movie to watch when you are feeling a little bit like a bad mother.

We had a pretty good day around here overall. Mike was busy most of the day. We've arranged that Sundays are his day to sleep in, so I got up with Natalie. It was the switch to end daily lights saving time, so she woke up at our regular time of 6, but it was really 5. I was up off and on after that for an hour or so as she alternated between quite, babbling, and whimpering. I was a bit bummed that she got up so early since my morning off she slept in until 8! No ones fault, just a bit unfair how it worked out.

Anyway, Mike was busy for part of the morning working on fixing the snow blower. Mike also spent a lot of time on laundry today, but I would have done it all if he had given me the opportunity. I was particularly happy that he scrubbed the remaining gunk out of our washing machine, which is a problem I've been working on for months. Anyway, I took Natalie outside for a bit while he worked, then we nursed, and watched a video. When he came in, he made Natalie grilled cheese, then showered and shaved. After a diaper change, Natalie went down for her nap while he was in the shower.

When Natalie got up, we spent some time together in the office, downstairs, and on the bed in our room. This was the best part of the day since we were all together having fun. Around 330, Natalie and I went to watch some TV (Muppets Take Manhattan to be specific) and Mike disappeared for an hour or so. Soon after he joined us in the living room, he went out to start dinner (tacos) and Natalie and I played a bit more, then I brought her out to eat her dinner. She ate all of her dinner, including about 6 M&M candies from her Halloween candy.

After dinner, I spent a few minutes cleaning up, then we spent time in the living room again. Mike finished folding some laundry, and he asked me to take care of Natalie's stuff. I left the living room to do that, and Natalie had a bit of a break down. I came back and kissed her and pet her head, then finished up. I did the same when I walked by again to bring the laundry to her room. She just wandered around the living room crying, even after I came back in. I couldn't get her to calm down, so we started bath early. Turning on the cartoon we usually watch and taking down the gate cheered her up some, but when we took off her diaper, she got upset again. She had a very full diaper and had pooped some. Usually, we would take care of a poop in her room before bath, but we didn't know. Anyway, she just got very upset about being wiped and stayed upset after it was done and she was put in the bath. Mike was worried that she didn't want to sit down all the way. She was grumpy for most of the rest of bath, especially when I tried to wash her face and we washed her lower half.

She calmed down again when I brought her in to her room, but when Mike joined us and started her diaper, she got upset again. When her spread her legs, we both saw that her diaper area in the front didn't look right. It had rather deep wrinkles and was pretty red. This got us thinking about when her last diaper change had been. Well, I was the only one who did any diapers today because Mike was busy all the time. And the last one I had done that I can remember was before her nap around 130 or something ridiculous like that. I feel horrible about it. I knew near the end of the night that her diaper was full, but after a certain point, we don't bother to change it because its so close to bed. I just don't know why I didn't think to change it before then. Usually after a nap she has a snack, and I would change it soon after that. But we were goofing around so I forgot, I guess. I just feel really horrible that my forgetting to do her diaper could have been what was making her so upset.

But, it seems like a lot of things were bothering her. She cried about me leaving the living room and she was never back on track again after that. She was upset getting her face washed, too. We also know she was tired from her yawns and from her going down without a peep. We know that when she is tired things that don't usually bother her become a big deal, so we hope that it all was just from her being tried. I mean, is she was still on the old time, it was 715 - 755 when all of this was happening, which is after her bed time. Our attempt to smooth out the transition by pushing her bed time back by ten minutes a night appeared to work last week, but not today.

I feel super guilty that my mistake could be hurting her. I also feel like worried that it could be something bigger bothering her - like a stomach ache or a cold coming on. We've been very lucky with her not getting sick, but eventually one of these days she will. I've also stopped worried about her waking up in the middle of the night. We've been spoiled by months of perfects night of sleep. It is just impossible that it will keep up forever. She is bound to get sick or have nightmares or something. I worry that what appears to be a big molar coming in or this diaper irritation or whatever it else it was upsetting her could wake her up. But right now, she's asleep. I just hope I'm not jinxing myself by writing this, because writing it all out helps me feel better.