Purgatory, or mostly back to what normal has become

The last two days have mostly been like the last five months.  Three things have made it unusual. 

1.  It took two trips to CVS, but we now have all our supplies: syringes, numbing cream, methotrexate, bandages to cover the numbing cream for an hour, Sesame St band-aids that Natalie picked out and carried around the store, alcohol wipes, multivitamin with folate acid, and little red bio hazard waste box for the needles. Having all the supplies is making the fact that this is now a long term part of our lives more real.  Most of these products have enough doses for months.  I think it will become very real come Tuesday when I have to do her first injection at home. 

Here it all is.

2.  The appointment for her joint injections is set up.  The doctor called yesterday to set the date, but I couldn't talk much because William was in my lap sleeping.  So, she called back today.  After determining that Natalie was a safe candidate for the sedation, she told me about it.  We have to arrive at the hospital at 630 (which means we leave here at 530!!) for an 8 o'clock procedure.  They will be giving her three drugs through the IV.  One to lessen her secretions like saliva, one to put her to sleep, and Valium to help her wake up calmly.  The doctor on the phone, who will be the one who administers the sedation, said some kids wake up crying and older kids have reported hallucinations!  So, the Valium helps her be calm.  As far as the injections are concerned, she is getting 8, which is more than most kids get.  She will have two in each ankle and one in each knee and wrist.  Since she has more injections, she needs more sedation medicine, and thus she will need longer to recover before we can go home.  She said lots of kids are ready to leave by 1030, but we should figure closer to noon.  She'll have to eat and drink and walk around a bit, though she will be sleepy and sore the rest of that day. Talking about these injections also makes everything seem a bit more real, and its all scary to think of the actual day it will happen.  That is going to be a very, very long day. 

3.  We were concerned about Natalie's vomiting, but then I woke up this morning feeling horrible.  I managed not to get sick myself, but I spent most of the day on the couch.  Natalie was so sweet taking care of me!  She brought me play food (apples, orange, milk, and tea).  She snuggled with me on the couch under a blanket.  She pretended to wash throw up out of my hair!  She also sat on the potty next to me while I waited by the toilet to see if I was going to be sick.  Mike's felt pretty bad today, but he had to work late on a project deadline.  I luckily started to feel better by 330 when everyone was up from nap and we had to head out to her doctor's appointment to get her TB test checked.  The doctor was surprised we made an appointment for that, but I told her we were also concerned about the vomiting before I felt sick.  She said that vomiting can come and go with a bug like that for 10-14 days, so the fact that she was fine for two days doesn't mean anything and if she were to get sick again we still shouldn't worry yet. 

William has had a rough week though.  He's been dragged to the doctor three times, which meant 4 hours in the car at times he didn't want to sleep.  He also had to be held a lot when he wanted to play.  And when he tried to play, there was lots of frustration at all these new places.  Add to that his two top teeth are very close to coming through.  He's had to wait to eat a lot and wait to be put to bed.  He has two bruises on his face right now from hitting his face on furniture, but he bangs it like 20 times a day trying to cruise on the furniture.  Last night he didn't want to sleep alone.  I tried putting him down in the crib twice and he woke up immediately both times, so I just brought him into bed.  This worked okay, but is not ideal.  First of all, I heard these stories of women who co-sleep and their babies are on and off the boob all night.  Well, William couldn't find the boob on his own if his life depended on it - okay, well, maybe that is a little harsh, but he is always pushing his legs so that he is way up too high and I'm trying to lay comfortably on my side so I'm yanking on one of his legs to pull him down.  Its a task and half.  But, last night he didn't just fall asleep there.  Instead he wanted to be close.  He was like rolling over and head butting me and I finally figured out he wanted to sleep with his check on my check actually using my face as a pillow!  I then hugged his body to me and he was happy and slept quite a while.  It was kind of nice, but not ideal, and I hope he doesn't want to do this again tonight since I'm not feeling well still.  But this does show a change for him.  Twice today and then more times over the last few days he has not wanted to nurse to sleep.  I've had to move him to the crib awake.  He has trouble settling down and cries some, but no more than 10 minutes if he is really tired.  Not needing me to nurse him to sleep at bed time is an exciting milestone since it means that self soothing to sleep could be on the horizon as well as me being able to be away for bed time.  Or it might just be that his teeth are bothering him too much.  Long story short, I feel bad for  poor William.  He is getting a raw deal this week.  I'm hoping that I'll feel better tomorrow and be able to give him some good attention.