Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Sometimes I wonder at women's claims to be unable to breastfeed. Are these women really just uninformed and unsupported? Do they give in to formula when they need to feed 15 times a day and their nipples are cracked and bleeding? Or is there truly a precentage of women who can't breastfeed and that was a contributing factor to high infant death rates before formula was easily accessable? I do seem to have breastfed longer than anyone I know well. My mother friends either couldn't start, or stopped by 6 months. When I add those I know less well, I can think of two moms.

Right now I'm struggling with co-sleeping. William stays asleep when he is with me. Right now, he's been asleep in my lap on the nursing pilloe for about an hour. Before that, he slept soundly laying in bed next to me for two hours. I want him to sleep. I want to sleep. But I don't want to get to a point where he depends on me being there to sleep at all, and I don't want to break the habit later. Maybe its already too late.

William had been especially crabby for about a week. He learned to sit, then started to refuse to sit. Finally yesterday he seemed happy again. He was roaming around on the living room floor using a combination of rolling and pushing. Hopefully this was all he needed. He is very different than Natalie. She was content to sit in one place and play for a long time. William wants nothing to do with his toys much of the time. Instead, he wants to explore real world things. He wants to be carried around so he can see everything and he is far more interested in my mug or the remote than any toy. Natalie also had a lot more of my direct attention, but even when I play with William alone, that doesn't seem to change things. His crabbiness and frustration don't seem to be lonliness related. He does get very upset when tired though. Thankfully, he is doing well with going down for naps in his crib, but there length varies greatly from 20 minutes to two hours. I sometimes wonder if the night issues are making up for the day. He sleeps with me to get his mommy time, as well as nursing because he often is too distracted by everything to nurse long during the day.

Natalie seems to be coming out the otherside of her neck and night problems. For the last week about, she seems to be calling out in her sleep less. She is waking up happier leading to more good days. She is whining for attention. We are working on telling her that she needs to talk like a big girl and that we can't understand that voice. It must be hard for her since William gets to act like a baby and get lots of attention, yet she can't. She can be very frustrating when a small set back, like stumbling, sets her off in a long bad mood with constant begging to sit and snuggle in our laps. I feel horrible having to tell her no to a hug, but in reality, I can't hug her in the middle of changing a poopy diaper or when I am putting William in the car seat so we won't be late. We are also trying to model and reinforce to ask for help instead of having a break down. Natalie has always been easily frustrated and quick to give up asking us to did things for her. I worry about this for when she starts school. But another good thing around here is Natalie showing independence. She is helping a lot. She sets the table every night. She sometimes helps put the plastic stuff on the counter from the dishwasher or put the laundry in the washer or helps feed the cats. She also is good at suggesting ways to cheer William up. She's learned to blow her nose if we hold the tissue, how to hit mute on the remote, and is learning how to screw caps on and off. I wish we could make some head way on dressing and undressing though. She can pull her shirt over her head and put on her boots, but that's about it. I have a feeling William is going to be the kind of kid who takes all his clothes off and plays with his poop in his diaper.

I think another sign that Natalie is happier is that she has been saying I love you unprompted a lot recently. Another I love hearing her say is thank you, especailly when she gets something she is excited about. I can't believe how polite she is sometimes.

Natalie is almost 2.5 now. I've been thinking about preschool and Kindergarten. I couldn't find any info on our town or school web sites so I sent an email. I did find a Kindergarten checklist and Natalie can already do a few things on it. Most notably Natalie talks in long sentences pretty much all the time and knows her shapes and colors. We've been working with her on letters the last few days when we read her this one alphabet book she likes. She knows a few letters, which I find impressive. I also think I've finally taught her N is for Natalie. Speaking of names, I need to start teaching her her full name and address, but I'm a little stuck on how since she doesn't understand the concepts.

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