Its funny how some days there is so much do to during nap time, while the day previous there wasn't. I know that many of the things I "need" to do are of my own invention (such as goodreads or blogging), but I sometimes feel the need to keep up with the things I enjoy or else they go by the wayside, like my needlepoint has. It can be very easy to devote all my time to things for Natalie and the house, which is the root of some of my guilt about needing time for myself. This past weekend I was supposed to get out of the house without Natalie or Mike for a couple of hours, but the plans fell through. I was disappointed, but mostly because I had finished getting ready to go, treating this small outing like a special occasion. Sad to say, the friend I made plans with hasn't been very reliable in terms of spending time together. If we need help, she and her husband are right there, but we'd also like to see them socially since, go figure, we like them. Ever since we've had Natalie, we haven't seen much of them and have had a lot of late returned calls and canceled plans. It makes me sad, especially since I really only have the one friend up here. But, I also understand that that is not the case for her at all.
Another thing that has been on my mind recently is a way my point of view has changed since Natalie was a newborn. I used to feel I had no time to do anything, but that so wasn't the case. Natalie was a very easy newborn to deal with for the most part. I could have read with her playing or brought her around the house to clean or do other chores. It just felt like I had to be next to her paying attention to her all the time, but looking back now I know that's not true. Now, it is true. Now I can't leave the room without my crawling shadow. Now I can't leave her anywhere without fear she will find a way to hurt herself. Yet, now I find time to do more most of the time.
Speaking of change and Natalie growing up, I hope to post my synopsis of Natalie's birth for her birthday, but hope to add to it some first.
My last thought about parenting I wanted to share today was about dealing with other moms in print. I read a fair amount about parenting through the internet (including Yahoo! Answers), parenting books (mostly the What to Expect series), and Parenting Magazine. As Mike said last night, sometimes he wishes I didn't read those things because they just make me feel bad and worry about what I'm not doing. For instance, brushing Natalie's teeth using the correct motions 2-3 times a day. In all honesty, we are doing good if we brush once a day and even better if she lets me brush her bottoms at all. I hope to do better with this now that we've cut the night nursing and it makes sense to brush before bed, but I'm not going to pin her to the ground and like hold her tongue or something absurd like that to brush her teeth.
Another thing that makes me feel bad is when I read to change her diaper whenever she is wet. What does that even mean? Like pees at all? With how absorbent these diapers are how would I even know if she has peed and wouldn't it take a while before she is wet anyway? She gets changed at least 5 times a day on a busy, out of the house day, but more like 7-8. Considering that she is only up about 13 hours a day, I think that's pretty good. And pooping. Who honestly changes a poopy diaper (if the child isn't bothered by it) 30 minutes before bed time bath? And speaking of poop, I still feel like I don't do a good enough job cleaning all of the poop out of her who-ha (as we have decided we are going to call it in our house when vagina seems too formal). I mean, I don't want to violate her or push poop deeper in anywhere by wiping. They say, wipe front to back, but when the poop is already all the way up front, that's not solving anything.
But one of the biggest thing that bothers me when reading what other moms have for advice is moms that are so natural. For example, I feel like wimp for getting an epidural. Or like I'm out of touch with my baby's needs for developing a nursing schedule rather than just feeding on demand. However, the worst would be when I would ask a question on Y!A about cutting a nursing. I would get answers about listening to your baby. We are talking about a child that can't speak and doesn't always know what's good for her. But really what was most bothersome is I would really be asking, is she trying to tell me I should cut this nursing, and I would get an answer saying I did self-lead weaning. Why can't these moms instead describe how they knew their child was ready? Or are all these moms nursing until 2 or more hen their child can talk?