Today went really well up until about 2 pm. Natalie and I had gone to Walmart and were there for well over an hour because they are remodeling and I couldn't find anything. But she was content the whole trip, even when she started yawning. She got about a half an hour nap on the way home and while I put the things away. But then, an hour later, she was sucking her thumb and acting tired. So, I put her down in the crib and it was a no go after 15 minutes. Out she came, and she was happy playing for about an hour. Then she became upset. She shouldn't have been hungry and her diaper wasn't dirty. She hadn't fallen or otherwise gotten hurt. It was like she was acting tired again. She was kind of hugging me - sucking her thumb and leaning against me - but she was happy with that. It was like she wanted to cuddle and explore at the same time. Is this seperation anxiety? Anyway, I tried sitting her on my lap to play and I tired letting her lay down on my lap, but they were both about the same. So, I gave in and gave her that nursing we had dropped. She seemed rather happy with that. It calmed her right down. I cut things a little shorter than I usually would have to prevent her biting me, but she was happy. She then played for another hour or so, and it happened again. She was just crying out of no where right where she was standing. This time, I took her for a diaper change and she was rubbing her eyes, so I tired another nap. She cried for a while, but fell asleep for about half an hour. Mike was home when she woke up, and she continued crying when he got her. She smiled when he brought her in to me, but then she was moody. Crying when Mike looked at her one minute, then laughing when he tickled her. After she had her dinner, she cheered up. Playing after dinner went pretty well, although she did get upset when I came into the room one time and when I left the room another time. Again, maybe this is all seperation anxiety. At bed time, she was due to nurse on the right, but she was bored with it so soon its got me a bit worried. Then I moved her over to the left (I've been doing both sides at night to try to have them both drained before the long stretch at night), she did better for a bit, but then was off and on mostly distracted by Mike because he sits on that side. We decided to call it at night and she latched back on, but the pinching pressure was there again like she was starting to bite. So, I got her off and ended nursing. She was disjointed about it and was crying before I had in her in the crib. She cried for a little while before falling asleep. When I went to go see her just now (because Mike said she was sleeping all cute with her butt in the air like he used to as a kid), she was in the front corner of the crib, which is where she crawls to when she is crying for us to come get her. Its sad.
I guess I'm feeling that this odd behavior is her being conflicted about wanting to play and explore, but then wanting me close. The nursing made her happy because it is such a nice way for us to be close and she got yummy food. Food always seems to make her happy. However, I'm still a little nervous about my right breast maybe not producing enough anymore. It could be that she is just going to be more squirmy now at bed time and not stay on sucking once the bulk of the milk is gone. She probably would have been off and on some more on that side if I let her, but I didn't want to get bit. These are things I need to consider more of the next couple days: Does she want to be closer to me regularly? Is this not related to nursing and tiredness? And, is my right breast still getting to a point where it feels full like it used to? Is she only getting bored and squirmy earlier on that side?