Monday, May 3, 2010

Mike just called saying he won't be home for dinner or Natalie's bed time tonight. He has to go over to his mother's house (45 minutes away) to help fix her computer. He was afraid I'd be mad about it, but I'm not. I totally understand that even though she could manage without her computer, it would be inconvenient and getting it fixed is important to her. I'd like to think that I would still be this understanding if we'd had a bad day here, but we had a good day, so I don't know. I guess I would have been more stressed and annoyed, but I can't really be mad about such an admirable trait as wanting to take care of his mom.

So, yes, despite my worries yesterday, today has been much better. Natalie flipped over in her sleep last night immediately, but she slept wonderfully. She cried out once, and I was amazed to see that it was 430. She got up on time, too, instead of early. In fact, when Mike picked her up, she was still rather sleepy and probably would have stayed in the crib awhile longer. This is probably why she fell asleep for about an hour after nursing.

It was just as warm as yesterday here today if not warmer and more humid. So, we took our walk at 10. Natalie was tired by then and pretty grouchy, but I was worried about fighting her over a nap in the crib and I wanted to go for a walk today. So, grouchy as she was, I got her through our getting ready, and once we got outside she was asleep probably in ten minutes. I was worried that pushing to go on the walk was going to backfire though because it was very humid, breezy, and cloudy - just the kind of weather where it feels like its going to rain any second. I brought along a blanket to put over her if it rained (because I can't hold an umbrella and steer the carriage straight) and made sure not to be more than 15 minutes from home at any time. That's one of the good things about our walking course; we go off in one direction and circle back, pass the house, then circle out in the other direction. It allows us to cut a walk short pretty easily with her need to, rather than being stuck far from home and having to make the whole walk back.

So, overall, today has progressed well. No gagging on food. Happy during play times for the most part. We've explored the yard a couple times (including a lot of dandelion touching), stood at the music table, played with my water bottle, read a little bit of a couple books, walked around the house, played in the play pen, and sat playing with toys on the floor. She hasn't spent as much time on her tummy as she did last week, but I haven't been pushing it since being on her stomach during sleeping as been such an issue.

But, today's biggest accomplishments has been two naps in the crib with basically no fussing. I put her down at 130, and she flipped over, but went right to sleep. I went to check on her a few times to make sure she was okay on her tummy, and she was. Its so funny to see her changing postion in the crib now, though, because before she barely moved at all in her sleep for the whole night. When I checked on her one time, both feet were sticking out the slats of her crib, not far enough to get stuck though. And, I put her down just now (well, before I started writing, so it was pretty much 430) and she cried out when she saw me leave, but she went right to sleep. Amazing. Maybe we are getting back in the swing of things. That, or the hot humidity is wiping her out and she can't sustain a tantrum. When Mike called, I was concerned about trying to put her down for a nap. I wondered if it would be better to push through until 6 for bed time or if trying to do a nap would fail making her really cranky. But when I changed her diaper, she started to rub her eyes, and then when I picked her up her thumb went in her mouth, so I figured we'd give it a shot. I'm glad we did.

A friend stopped by this afternoon, which was nice. We were supposed to have plans this weekend, but they fell through, so she swung by for a half an hour after school (she's a teacher) before picking up her fiance. She was only here about half an hour, so we didn't talk about much besides Natalie. Sometimes, especially when people seem to be so enthusiastic about talking about Natalie, its hard for me to make sure that she isn't all we talk about. I mean, I'm with her all day, so I can have a lot to say about her, but I don't want to bore people or ignore their needs. Another thing I wonder about making conversation is what I'm supposed to say when people say how cute Natalie is. I mean, with people I'm close with, I can make a funny little comment, but what about people who are almost strangers? Do I say thank you? What if its acquaintances who gush every time we see them?


So, its way later now. I've turned on Law & Order and I'm disappointed that I don't recognize any of the actors.

Natalie went down smoothly tonight. After her nap, she had some squash for dinner. It was only about 530 and she was already losing it, so we went outside and I let her walk around the yard. And, poof, new baby! She's happy and babbling. We stayed out there for about 15 minutes, and then she was content to play inside for another 45 minutes before I started to get her ready for bed. I don't mind doing bed time on my own now that I've done it successfully several times. She was supposed to have a bath, but I skipped that. I'm worried about her slipping while I'm trying to wash her. Since Mike wasn't here, we didn't read Harry Potter. Instead, I read to her from James and the Giant Peach, which we started forever ago. I used to read aloud to Natalie all the time, but she doesn't like it when I just read to her now, unless she is nursing. She usually starts babbling (very loudly), so we stick to the picture books and board books expect for bed time. I really enjoyed reading to her alone tonight. I read to her in a quiet voice and we were kind of snuggly. I was kind of sad that I had to stop, but I didn't want to wait too long and have her wake up fully when I moved her.

Mike got home around 8 and after some small talk while he did his usual after work routine, we went downstairs to watch House. That's pretty much been my night.

To end on something a bit more profound, after putting Natalie to bed, I got to think about how Mike wasn't here tonight. Sometimes I get overwhelmed being with Natalie so much. For example, I'll have been care for her all of her awake time (and be on call while she's asleep) for almost 48 hours before Mike watches her when he gets home tomorrow. But, Mike will only have seen her for a few minutes during that time. Its kinda hard for me to comprehend this since it is so different from my experience. It makes me want Mike to have more time with Natalie, but so that he can just be with her, rather than sharing our parenting responsibilities.

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